Pregnancy Services ›› For Parents
My Daughter is Pregnant (or my son’s girlfriend is)… Now what?
You are not the first parent to click on this page. Every parent who comes to Hope Clinic thinks: “how did this happen to MY child?” or “Where did I go wrong?”
Hope Clinic offers staff and volunteer counselors who are here to help you and your son or daughter. Right now, you are dealing with your own concerns and questions, and you are trying to parent your child well. You’re trying to be the strong one. If your daughter/son is dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, please contact us at (615) 627-2794 or by email at agarner@hopeclinicforwomen.org. Your call is completely confidential. Even if you are unable to get your daughter or son to see us, we can help provide you with information and support.
Below you’ll find both medical and practical information just to get you started. Please feel free to read it and get caught up now that this situation is personal and real to you. Hope Clinic simply wants to provide you with information so you can better handle the situation and work together with your child.
Andy Garner, M.Div., MMFT
Male and Parent Counseling Coordinator
The Development of Life
We sometimes think that a developing fetus is only a blob of cells, without form, and without life. But at just 5 weeks of development, life has begun and the fetus has a beating heart. At week 6 eyes, arms, legs, brain, and spinal cord are clearly visible. In just two more weeks, there will be ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. Its brain displays measurable brain waves. By week 10, the fetus can yawn and suck its thumb.
Is it all up to her?
Some parents leave the decision totally in the hands of their child, saying something like, “It’s your body and I’ll be supportive no matter what you decide.” But this puts an enormous amount of pressure on your child. In essence, you are asking them to choose between life and death all on their own. Other parents put undue pressure on their child to abort either so the child can move on with future plans or in attempt to ‘erase’ the situation and perceived shame or embarrassment they..or you…may be feeling. Others encourage their child to choose adoption. The best thing you can do for your child right now is to help her make healthy, slow, deliberate choices. This decision will affect both of you (not just your child) for the rest of your lives. Be intentional. Seek wise counsel. Be informed. Know that you have more choices than you think!
What are our choices?
Some young women and men are simply not able to financially or physically support and raise a child. Some may choose to deliver the baby and place it in a family who cannot have a child of their own. These women are heroes! They recognize that only God gives life, and they choose to save that life and in turn improve the life of the child and help a couple create a family. It is a true picture of the Gospel. It is one of the most self-less and courageous things a person may do.
Other young women and men decide to keep the child and begin a family of their own. This may be made up of a traditional family, a blended family, may involve you as the grandparents, or a combination of all these. Consider your resources and consider your support network. You have lots of choices. Talk with others and get them to help you think of resources you haven’t even considered.
Please call us at (615) 627-2794 to make a confidential appointment. We can help you think through this process, and make intentional rather than reactionary decisions. All of our services are free for you and your child….and completely confidential.
What is involved in abortion procedures?
Abortion is a surgical procedure that usually involves the insertion of a cutting or suction device into the womb to remove the fetus. Other techniques involve chemically poisoning the fetus or chemically inducing nutrient deprivation so that it is starved of nutrients and dies within a few days. In this case, a surgical procedure is sometimes needed to remove the developing fetus from the womb. In most of the abortions (particularly those done in the first tri-mester, the women are NOT put to sleep and are awake for the procedure.
As with any surgical procedure, there are always medical risks to consider. They include: infection, laceration of the cervix, uterine, bladder or bowel perforations, bleeding, hemorrhage, and subsequent infertility. There are psychological effects of abortion commonly referred to as Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS). Nightmares, drug and alcohol abuse, sexual dysfunction, depression, and suicide are among the most common symptoms. These symtoms are not pro-choice or pro-life. They can affect anyone and do not matter what you may feel politically or spiritually.
Men and Abortion
If your son is involved in an unplanned pregnancy, keep in mind that men are not immune to the effects of post-abortion syndrome. Many men experience the following symptoms, which often develop months or even years after the abortion*:
- Difficulty bonding with children
- Difficulty sleeping; nightmares
- Avoidance behaviors
- Alcohol/drug abuse or addiction
- Sexual dysfunctions
- Intense feelings of guilt or shame
- Numbness
- Feelings of failure
- Sense of loss
- Eating disorders
- Difficulty making decisions
- Excessive masturbation
- Lack of intimacy with spouse, children, friends, God
- Panic attacks
- Feelings of inadequacy as a man
*Summarized from Last Harvest, 1993
Support
So please remember, if your child is dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, please call us at (615) 627-2794 to talk. You can also email at agarner@hopeforwomen.org. We’re here to help and to give hope.
